So, Julianna (she’s 9) and I are watching some Finding Bigfoot show on TV (hint: They never actually find one. Surprise.)
J: Well, Daddy, maybe it’s just a guy in a mask.
J: And, he pretends to be a Bigfoot.
J: And, he has big shoes like a clown to make the footprints.
Me: So, he’s a clown?
J: No. I’m saying “Like” a clown.
Me: Does he have a big red nose? “Like” a clown.
J: Daddy, stop that.
Me: Does he come out of a small car with his other Bigfoot friends?
J: No, Daddy. You’re confusing me.
Me: Does he have make-up smile, or a make-up frown.
J: Daddy, I’m being real here. About Bigfoot.
Me: Really? You’re being real. About Bigfoot.
J: You know what a Yeti likes to eat?
Me: What, Sweetie?
Me: Ha ha. Can we watch football now?
J: No, they might find one.
Me: In the four years that this show has been on the air, they haven’t found one. And, we have to sit through 7 minutes of commercials to discover that, no, they didn’t find one.
J: Maybe this time they will.
Me: I give up. You win with your wide-eyed optimism. Football can wait. Let me know how this ends. I’m getting a beer.
J (from the other room…): No, they didn’t find one.