I’ve been churning out the Daddy/Daughter Fun Time posts for six or seven years now. But, truth be told, there’s a limit to the hilarity that can be had. Because, real life is not nearly as funny as I make it sound. Parenting is really, truly hard work. There’s yelling, crying, screaming, yelling, hugging, crying, worrying, diapers, mocking, joking, yelling. Police are sometimes dispatched.
But, really, my 11-year-old deserves her private space. The 8-year-old doesn’t need her every gymnastics run analyzed. Because, she is a kid.
And, of course, my ever-loving wife never asked to be a part of this blog which I foisted upon her, and that is my fault. I am so, so sorry.
So, I don’t know if I’ll make it to my goal of 500 posts. (so close…) Because, everything gets repetitive. Shoes. No! Cereal. No! Pants. No! Backpack… wait, where’s my notebook? Car. No! Wait.. Oh, There it is! Let’s go. Backpack! I want Cheerios. No, Honey Nut Cheerios. If I can’t have Honey Nut Cheerios, then I’ll never go to school again! Aaaaahh!
Darth Vader: Get your ass in the car.
Also: Daddy, you need to sign this form. To donate a kidney. (While merging onto the highway.)
It all makes for hahaha Posts. But, for those of you beginning the journey, it is a cautionary tale. For those on the other side, breathe at last. But, my journey is coming to a close.
Meanwhile, I have to figure out what Nightcore is and why they sound like Chipmunks.
Julianna (the 11-year-old): Daaaad! They’re not chipmunks. You ruin everything!
Editor’s note: Ok, I’ve done some research. It’s what the kids are listening to. Nightcore is a form of dance music, where the “composers” (ahem) take pre-existing recorded songs, speed them up, and take all the credit. Oh, and they add a drum-machine. (I’m sure they compensate the original musicians. Or, not).
Anyway, the result is a high-speed, chipmunk-sounding song. (Daaad! They’re not chipmunks!) Alvin and Theodore and Simon be damned.
Also, most nightcore videos are accompanied by Japanese anime characters. One Urban Dictionary post describes it thusly: “A collection of remixed top 40 pop songs fawned over by 11 year-old females that discovered the internet, anime, and music the night before.”
Apparently, this person lives in my house.
When I tried this in school 25 years ago, I was reprimanded. Tone Loc did not nightcore well. Ahead of my time, I guess.
So far, my daughters have favored vanilla pop music nightcores like Disney-safe Britt Nicole and Emily Osment. Even nightcored, there’s little to complain about. Other than, you know, the actual music.
Has anyone nightcored the Sex Pistols? Oh, look. There goes my Saturday afternoon.
Church rally Tuesday at 7:00. Stop This Scourge!