Stump the Band

The other day, I was talking with some 20-somethings (because they, unlike my pre-teen daughters, see me as something of an authority figure), and they asked me a question to which I didn’t know the answer. So, I said, “You’ve stumped the band.”

And, they were like crickets chirping in the night.

Me: Come on. Stump the Band. You know that, right?

Them: Chirp.

Me: You know Johnny Carson, yes?

Them: Chirp. Chirp… Also, Chirp.

Me: Heeere’s Johnny!


Me: Jimmy Fallon?

Them: Yes. Obviously.

Me: Before him, Jay Leno.

Them: Sorta, kinda…

Me: Before him, the King of Late Night: Johnny Carson. For, like 30 years. 11:30 every night. He had a bit where audience members would sing crazy songs and the band would try to play along…

Them: Wait. You said Late Night. Does that mean at night, night? Or, after the sun comes up night?

The Times are a-changing.

Science Channel Junk

The Science Channel is one of my go-to channels. HGTV, Food Network, MSNBC. But, if there’s something cool on, it’s the Science Channel. Mythbusters. Mike Rowe and the Stars.


I’ve gotta admit, I am disappointed in the Science Channel over the last year.

I know it was designed for as much wide-spread popular consumption as possible. And, they hired a new boss guy a year ago to increase traffic. I thought he would do away with the phony-science stuff. I hoped the Ancient Alien junk was gone.

Sorry. No. If I wanted to watch crap, I could find a Bigfoot or Kardashian on other channels.

But, I want Science. And, that sounds perfect for a Channel. (Guys, find a business model.)

Now we have NASA’s Unexplained Files. Maybe there was a UFO over Salt Lake. Rockets on the moon? Did an alien Text me? You’re looking a little greenish today, are you OK or a Martian?

Explain these “files” already. You’re the Damn “Science Channel.” Who else is better positioned to do this? You have the file. You have a whole research team, with college interns and all. And, you have TV friendly scientists, who may or may not be accredited. Explain these files without the ambivalence of…. “we just don’t know.” “Maybe.” “Perhaps.”

Please. Figure it out, or don’t put it on TV.

I am now watching “What on Earth.” You tell me. Is there a Nazi ice cave in Antarctica? Is there a US Stealth Bomber in China? Is there a secret Martian base in the Sahara Desert?

You’re the goddamn Science Channel. Answer the questions. Don’t leave it up to me to decide.

Because, you know… I will.. click….

PAC 12 Gymnastics

Oh, God, not another gymnastics post.

(But, it’s really not.)

Isabella (she’s 9) and I are watching the PAC-12 Gymnastics Championships through the WiFi connection to the laptop and also through TWC Cable on the big screen TV. Reception is dubious, and there’s a delay between them. But, the crummy technology is adjacent-to what the Rep said it would be (yeah, I didn’t believe him then, and now I have been proven right. First-World Problems.)

UCLA (our team) is competing against 5 other teams at the University of Utah.

Competing are:

University of Utah. Utah State. Southern Utah. Illinois. U of Washington. and UCLA.

Isabella: Utah has a lot of teams. Is Utah even in the United States?

This was a direct question by a 9-year-old, and I gave a direct adult answer:

Me: Yes, Utah is part of the United States. Maybe not always part of this century, but definitely part of the United States.

This was a direct quote of mine.

[Editor’s note: The Fun Time has always tried to remain politics-free. But, the DDFT staff approved this particular snark, because Utah. Beautiful country. Absolutely. But… Legislation.]

Iz: I don’t get it.

Me: Well, you see… How old are you?

Iz: 9.

Me: Oh…. Look at that girl do that handspring, full tuck, back-walkover, layout, double-double.

Iz: Ummm. Dad… That’s a cheese-burger.

Me: Ok.

Iz: And, she’s a “Woman” not a “Girl.”

DDFT staff: You are on your own.

UCLA came in Second Place to… Wait for it: Utah.