En Español

I know I haven’t posted a whole lot in the last month or so. The girls are as hilarious as ever… I’ve just had a few distractions and haven’t had the motivation to post….

But, I couldn’t pass up this bit of dialogue:

Tickling eight-year-old Julianna on the sofa while watching the Nightly News (because, these days, the news needs a laugh track), one of us butt-dials the remote control to land on some Spanish channel.

While tracking down the remote, we are exposed to a show called “12 Corazones,” which in English means: “Twelve Corazones.”

God, I’m funny.

J: Daddy, what IS this?

A half-dozen hot young girls in bikinis are being interviewed by some other fully-clothed hot girl. The bikini girls then make out with a half-dozen surfer dudes. Using tongues.

Um… Ew.

Me: I don’t know, Honey. Yo no hablo español.

J: Yes, you do. Plus, there are English subtitles.

Me: Crap. Technicality. Where’s the stupid remote? I don’t want to watch this.

Finding that damn remote, I flip back to the comfort of NBC’s Brian Williams. Ah, the relief of War and Crime and Human Suffering in my family room. Home at last.

J: Daddy, I guess I need to learn Spanish to understand what that was about. Don’t I?

Me: Uh… No, you don’t need to learn Spanish, Sweetie. You just need to get older. It doesn’t matter the language… (By the way, no boys until you’re thirty.) … Damn you, Telemundo!

J: You’re a weirdo!… Um, is that Spanish?

Someone help me.

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