After the first restful sleep in weeks, I wake up this morning and roll over to spoon-snuggle my beautiful, beautiful wife.

But, a five-year-old is in the way. Eyes wide open, staring at me.

Isabella (the aforementioned five-year-old): Daddy, every time you breathe in, you make a noise.

Me: Yes, Honey. That’s called snoring.

Iz: Yeah, but every time you breathe out, it’s stinky.

Me: Maybe you shouldn’t be sitting on my chest. Where’s Mommy?

Iz: Making me breakfast. You have a white dot on your nose.

Me: Thanks for noticing. A zit.

Iz: And, you know how Mommy colored her hair to cover the gray?

Me: Yes, that’s what people do.

Iz: You should do that in your nose.

Saturday morning. Welcome to my weekend.