Sleeping in the Otero household is never simple:

Sunday: Julianna (she’s 8) is having a nightmare. Mommy comforts her at 1:20. And is never heard from again.

Monday: Isabella (5) climbs into bed with Mommy and Daddy. 12:45. Knee to crotch. Ow. This is repeated over and over.

Tuesday: Daddy can’t sleep. He slinks off to bed with the sofa. Hussy. 1:30.

Wednesday: Isabella is fighting some sort of alien invasion. Daddy’s Ambien is just kicking in. Crap. 1:35.

Thursday: Daddy dares to sleep without pajamas. Big mistake. Julianna has a “fever.” 2:25.

Friday: Bullshit. You are not squeezing between Daddy and Mommy’s snuggle. Trust me, BigFoot is not coming through your window. (Stop watching the “Science” Channel late at night.) 12:15

Saturday: Seriously, Honey. This bed can’t handle all four of us. It’s just too close. And my groin can’t deal with another unwelcomed attack. 7:10.

What Joy! Tomorrow is Sunday. Another week begins.