Watching Entertainment Tonight’s Spring Break coverage:

Julianna (seven-years-old): Daddy, what’s a Brazillian Wax?
Me: Um, Uh… A what? Oh, there’s a big statue of Jesus in Brazil for Mardi Gras… I think it’s a special Jesus wax candle for kids.
Julianna: Ok. A Brazillian Wax! I can’t wait to get one!

God, I’m a horrible father.