Snuggling down with Julianna, the eight-year-old…

J: Daddy, you’re the best Daddy I’ve ever had.

Me: Thank you, Honey… But, exactly, how many Daddies have you ever had?

J: Just you.

Me: So, if I’m your Best Daddy, that means I’m also…

J: Uh… The fattest Daddy I’ve ever had.

Me: You’re not following my logic. If I’m the Best Daddy, and the ONLY Daddy, then I’m also…

J: You’re also the stupidest.

Me: Thank you for that. You’re losing me. Hold on…

J: You’re the dumbest Daddy…?

Me: You know you were adopted. Not only the Best Daddy….

Tears start to fall.

J: You’re the Worst Daddy Ever.

Me: Finally. You see my point….

J: Waaah.

Me: But, just kidding, Dear. Seriously. Just kidding. Not adopted…. Oh, crap, what have I done?

(By the way, adoption is an absolutely wonderful thing. I know a number of adoptive parents. They totally rock. Adopting is the best thing people in a society can do. Absolutely. But, in this case, I went for the easy joke to make my child cry. Horrible parenting, I know.)

Future psychotherapy available here. In a couple of years.