Thigh Gaps.

Have you heard about this? …No?

This why you need me. I keep you informed.

Apparently, thigh gaps are the next body obsession I need to worry about for my soon-to-be teenage girls. Because anorexia and bulimia aren’t enough. Good times.

Boobs. Butts. Legs… Yeah,they’re Sooo yesterday.

Or so, the Huffington Post tells me.

Turns out, thigh gaps are a thing.

If you don’t know, a “thigh gap” is the bit of daylight visible between a woman’s extreme upper thighs with her feet together. Yes, at the top. Up there. The very top. Yes, there. Tippy top.

I never thought about it. Not complaining, but I never noticed. Enjoyable, but, not noticed.

Below is the family-friendliest picture on the Internet I could find. Trust me, I found many non-family friendly images. Many. (But, for you, I kept looking. For you. I found others. Protecting you… That’s my job. I hate my job. Saw others. Much less family-friendly. Much. Others. Good God, I found others.)

Anyway, reports are that young women are getting liposuction to achieve “thigh gap.” Surgery?! Really?! Liposuction?! Really?!

Seriously, ladies. Your thighs are fine. No one cares. Please stop. Seriously.