I lost my older brother, Jay, last week. He was only 50. Kidney failure, so you know.

I spent as much time by his hospital bed as I could during his last days in the California desert city of Redlands. Our mother never left his side. For five solid days.

But, ultimately, he simply stopped breathing.

Jay adamantly protected his privacy, and I don’t want to step across the line here. He was never married and had no children.

But, I want you to know, that he was an extremely accomplished medical doctor: An actual MD physician. He was the Head of Behavioral Medicine: Psychiatry, Psychology, and Social Work for the Veterans Administration Hospital in Loma Linda. His specialty was in helping returning soldiers combating PTSD. And, he was very, very good at it. Coming back from the battlefield, he was the doctor you wanted to talk to.

He was a somebody.

He was very much my hero. Totally my hero.

As for now, my family and I are over the immediate grief of the moment.

Now, we are left to unravel a life.