Santa brought me some pajamas that were a little on the large side. Returning them shouldn’t have required this much discussion. Or therapy time.

Julianna (she’s 9): Daddy, what is Mommy doing?

Me: Returning my new pajamas. They’re too big.

J: You mean, you’re too small to wear them.

Me: No, Honey. They are too big for me.

J: In other words, you’re too short.

Me: No, Sweetie. I am an appropriate size. The pajamas are just too big.

J: So, you’re saying that you are too small for your pajamas, right?

Me: No, Puppy. Look, I’m Ok. It’s just that the pajamas aren’t right me.

J: Oh, I see. They’re too big for you.

Me: Exactly.

J: Except for your big fat belly.