Here’s what I hate about cable TV “reality” shows like Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty, Moonshiners, Redneck Wrecks, Juke Box Honeys, Bar-B-Que Babes, and all the Swamp People you can shake a crocodile at:

First of all, they are all fake. There’s nothing real about them… Ooops. Did I let something slip?

These shows perpetuate the stereotype of the Southern hillbilly, mindless Red-State, Confederate-flag-waving, gun-wielding, Jesus-Saves, probably-racist, asshole, stupid idiot redneck.

Let’s all laugh, shall we? Ha ha.

Listen,

I am a Son of the South. Proudly. You don’t generally need subtitles to understand what I am saying, unless I am talking quantum physics or the Fibonacci series in music.

It’s easy to mock. Like the “Jersey Shore” morons or the “Real Housewives” skanks. Only, on a nationally regional scale. (I was born in Jersey, and I know plenty of Beverly Hills “housewives.” I have never met any of the people that you see on the TV. Also, I know, they aren’t actually morons or skanks. That’s Hollywood editing.)

These shows paint a broad picture of “real” Southern living across a huge swath of this country.

And, that ain’t right. That’s not how life is for my friends and family. No one is shooting squirrels for dinner. Most people have actual boring jobs, like the rest of America.

Some of the smartest people I know came from the South. They may or may not have a college degree, but they should not be held up to ridicule.

They are not fish in a bowl for you to gawk at.

So, please… Cut that Shit out.