Listening to the weather report on the drive in to school this morning.

Guy on the radio: The Polar Vortex is going to continue to pummel the East Coast. Lows well-below Zero.

Me: Wow! That’s cold.

Julianna (She’s 9): Where does Grandma live?

Me: Well, where the Guy says. Where it’s cooooold.

J: So, it must be colder there than where Santa lives.

Me: Probably.

Isabella (she’s 7): Santa lives at the North Pole. Is it colder where Grandma lives than at the North Pole?

Me: I don’t know. Maybe.

J: So, Santa could move his whole Operation to where Grandma lives.

Me: Operation? He has an “Operation?”

J: Yeah, and he could start making toys there.

Me: Uh…. I suppose, Yeah.

Iz: But, he’d have to keep it secret. So maybe he’d find a factory somewhere.

J: An abandoned factory! Like in Scooby Doo!

Me: Uh…. Yeah, there are sadly a lot of empty factories in the coldest parts of the country.

J: One of them would be perfect for Santa!

Iz (the pragmatist): But… He would have to keep them clean on the inside, but still look dirty on the outside. So no one would notice.

J: Of course!

Me: That’s a wonderful idea girls, and… I’m sure Santa has thought of this.

Throwing cold water on the suggestion. (Boo me if you want!)

Me: But the reindeer need the cold. They need the North Pole. They have to live at the North Pole! And, HE CAN’T HAVE ANYONE AROUND.

J: I guess you’re right.

Iz: Uh-huh

Me (Wispering): I’m sending more jobs abroad.

J: What?

Me: Nothing. Not me.

[This is not too far from the actual conversation. I never encouraged anyone to Boo me. But, if you feel the need, have at it.]