Julianna (she’s 10, calling from a distant room): Daaaddyyy… How do you spell “Furnace? Or the video game monster will kill me!”
Isabella (7): Daddy, can I tell her? I know how to spell it!
Me: Really, you do? I don’t think so…
Me: Ok, I guess I had that coming. How old are you?
Iz: 7. No, Daddy… F-u-n… No, wait.
Me: Oh, this will be Fun.
Iz: Daddy! Stop! Furcsace. No. Funscaser. Wait. Furcnsae.
Me (shouting Letters of encouragement: Furn…)
J: Quick! I need to know!
Wha-Wha…. You’ve been eaten.
J: Daddy, this is all your fault.
Iz: Yeah, Daddy! Your fault.
Me: You never asked me how to spell “fir-ness,” the quality of a fir tree.