Creative Arts Emmy Recap, 2014

Here’s the fun, Creative Arts Emmy story.

These Emmy Awards are given out the week before the Prime Time TV Awards. Don’t misunderstand, these are actual, valid, genuine Emmy Awards. It’s fun. But, it’s 6 hours too long. And, do you really care who won Best Reality Program Non-Scripted but Structured Starring Pretty People in a Hot Tub? (That’s an actual category. Sort of.)

Because of my sway with the TV Academy (aka, my wife Lynn, who is the Consultant on the Music categories), we are actually sitting two rows in front of the crab fishermen Captains from The Dangerous Catch and one row in front of my favorite Mythbusters (you know, the three second-tier Busters).

Unfortunately, the Mythbusters lose out in their category. I turn, and offer condolences. I tell Kari, the only girl: My Daughter Loves Science and wants to be You when she grows up!

Kari: Me Too!

I’m puzzled, but Ok.

After the last award is (Thank God) handed out, we retire across the street to the LA Convention Center for the big, fancy dinner. Lynn and I have a tradition each year where we get our table mates and others to sign the Emmy menu.

I go on a fishing expedition.

Appropriately enough, I track down Johnathan Hillstrand, Captain of The Deadliest Catch’s Time Bandit crab boat at his table.

Me: Did you you have the steak or the seafood?

Him (More than Proudly): I Had the Steak!

We engage in about two minutes of conversation. He’s really a friendly, friendly guy. Lynn says he was hitting on me. Maybe she misinterprets Bro-hugs. Or, maybe he was. (No one has hit on me in 25 years, so I don’t know. Plus he’s married. To a woman. So, whatever)

Look for me in Port, Johnathan….

I head over to the Mythbusters table and strike up conversations with all three of the junior Busters: Grant, Tori, and Kari. They each seem to be genuinely interested in talking with me. But a few martinis will do that to a person.

With Grant Imahara:

How much are you digging my new Tux with the purple silk tie?

How much are you digging my new Tux with the purple silk tie?

And Kari Byron:

The cute one.  Also, there's a girl.

The cute one. Also, there’s a girl.

(And, sadly enough, a couple days after the ceremony, the three “Fan Favorites” were “let go” from the show. Maybe Kari was vaguely alluding to that when she said “Me Too!”…)

I make my way over to the Cosmos table and rudely interrupt this generation’s Einstein, Neil DeGrasse Tyson. And, of course, I gush about how much I love the show and Science and how much Carl Sagan’s original Cosmos series meant to me in the 8th Grade.

Neil: Then you need to talk to Annie. Plus, I’m still eating. (Ok, he didn’t say that last bit.)

He is referring to Ann Druyan, Sagan’s widow, also a co-creator of both of the Cosmos series. More gushing from me. A few martinis will do that to a person.

Allison Janney, who was being ushered out the door by her handler takes the time to talk with me. Allie and I go way back to my days as Extra #152 on the set of The West Wing. Surely she remembers me. No? No.

But, she is exceedingly gracious, gorgeous, and very, very tall.

We also bump into Community’s Joel McHale, who, when he tries to sign the menu tells us, “Your pen sucks!” A few martinis will do that to a person.

So, here’s the menu. We had everyone from our table as well as Music colleagues (Bill Ross, Mark Watters, Michael Levine, Mark Adler, Joanie Diener) and Emmy staff sign. And, some famous people: Captain Johnathan on top, under him is Dr. Cosmos Tyson (who insisted on signing with his own genuine ink pen. “Make sure to let that dry, it’s wet.) Then, McHale smudges everything. Martinis… Ann Druyan signs right under my name. Allison Janney is in there somewhere, as are the Mythbusters.

You could order fish or a vegetarian pasta dish.  But, like Captain Johnathan, I had the steak!

You could order fish or a vegetarian pasta dish. But, like Captain Johnathan, I had the steak!

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