Werewolves of London. Or, Van Nuys.

My poor Chihuahua does not understand evolution. What with the walnut-sized brain and all. He was once a wolf!

“Because you bark does not mean that the man putting things in our mailbox goes away.”

“The squirrel is not coming to overthrow us.”

“The garbage man is actually our friend.”

“You did not protect us from the zombies.”

“The pretty girl in the yoga pants walking her Labrador is really cute. Maybe I should flirt with her. What could go wrong?”

Like I said: Walnut-sized brain. Growl.

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