Just as the various members of the family stagger out of bed this morning around 8am, we hear a popping noise outside. No one thinks much of it (in Hollywood, the things we hear outside…)

Then…

Julianna (she’s 10): Dad, the lights aren’t working and the TV shut off.

Me: Who said you could put the TV on? What do you mean it shut off?

J: Off.

Me: I guess we blew a circuit.

Isabella (she’s 7): Daddy, the lights in the bathroom won’t come on.

Me: Ok, let me check.

I put my shoes on to go check the circuit panel outside (in LA they are outside in the backyard.)

Girls: Can I have a waffle?
Me: Nope.
Girls: Can I have an egg?
Me: Nope. Trying to check on things.
Girls: Can we watch Netflix?
Me: Nope. Router down.
Girls: Can we have some cereal?
Me: Nope, don’t want to open the fridge.
Girls: Can we go the bathroom?
Me: Yes, thankfully.
Girls: Can we call grandma?
Me: Nope. Phone dead.
Girls: Will we starve?
Me: Nope. Well, probably not.

Girls: What can we do? We are soooo bored!
Me: Girls, it’s been 4 minutes! Read a book! Eat an apple! Enjoy the morning! You know, there was a time when people didn’t have…

–click–

Girls: Yay! The lights just came back on!

Daddy’s lecture on the need for self-sufficiency was thwarted by the very power he was railing against.

After only 4 minutes, I was kind of relieved knowing that I was mere hours away from making the choice over which child I’d eat first.