Here’s the real reason my darling wife and I don’t get out much: Babysitters.

The truth is we have to spend hours and hours(!) cleaning up before they show up. No one wants to see the squalor that we actually live in. Shoes and socks. Plates and cups. Last night’s blanket fort. And all the pillows. Something sticky.

But tonight is special. Lynn bought tickets to Louis CK’s show at the LA Forum (Merry Christmas to me!).

I’ll even take out the trash.