Bed Time = Snuggle Time.

First up, Julianna (she’s 10):

Me: Scooch over, I know you’re ready for sleep.

J: No, I’m not. How would you know?

Me: The dolphin told me.

J: Daddy, he’s a doll. He’s not real. He doesn’t have a mouth.

Me: He, uh, used his blowhole. He’s a ventriloquist.

J: It’s sewed shut. He’s not real.

Me: I mean, he talked to me telepathically. My brain to his brain.

J: Dad, he’s a doll. He doesn’t have a brain.

Me: And, you have no imagination.

J: Yes I do!

Me: Then, you’d understand that I talked with your dolphin doll.

(pause)

J: I see what you did there. You’re weird.

Me: I know.

J: But, I love you.

Me: Aww. Thanks, Honey.

J: You’re also a Butt Face.

That’s my cue to leave, and then…