When you turn 50, you’re supposed to visit the doctor.

Colonoscopy.

Yeah, I don’t want that.

Doctor:  Let’s just make sure everything is Ok.  And, while we’re at it…

Me:  I already don’t like where this conversation is going, and now you want to add a parenthetical clause?

Doc:  Let’s talk about your diet.  Exercise. Life style.  Sleep.  Blood pressure.  We want to add years to your life.

Me:  Yes, Doctor.  But, you are adding years to the end of my life.  If you want to add years, give me a couple more 1984s.  Because, I totally would have asked that cute redhead cheerleader to the prom.