Julianna (she’s 12): Daddy, the school sent me to help a 3rd grader in math.
Me: That’s great, Honey. You’re a Tutor.
J: A “what” now?
J: And, that’s how you get the answer. X minus Y.
3rd Grader: Wow! That was so easy!
J: Yeah, when you know how to do it, it’s not that hard. Carry the one…
3rd Grader: Thanks. You must be so popular.
J (aww shucks): No, not really.
3rd Grader: Oh, that’s right.
Continuing: You can’t be popular AND smart.
I must interject:
Me: Nooooo! That is absolutely NOT true.
J: Yeah, kinda it is. It’s on TV. The Popular People are dumb, and the Smart People are unpopular.
My blood literally boils (Obviously, it does not boil because I understand the meaning of the word “literally.” Because I am smart. Coincidentally, unpopular)
Me: Look, Honey… Mommy is extremely smart and everyone loves her. I mean, come on!
J: Yeah but, you have no friends.
Me: That’s not entirely true.
J: And, you’re not smart at all.
Me: How did I become a subject of this…?
Isabella (she’s 10, from the back seat): And, also. You’re fat.
J: Good one.
Me: No. Not. Fat people can be smart.