My wife is out town dealing with Family Issues. Big time stuff.
So, at home… It is by definition: Daddy/Daughter Fun Time.
I forgot to un-set my alarm on Saturday. So, Yay! It’s 6:00 a.m. On Saturday. I’m awake and UP for no damn reason.
Shit. Crap. Saturday.
And, I have no one to yell at. They’re all still asleep. Even, the damn dogs are still sleeping.
So, I’ll stare at my screen. “O, Internet bring me wisdom.” (Internet: Ha! You’re kidding, right?).
Eventually, the first child wakes:
Me: What do you want for breakfast?
Child One: Stop Yelling at Me!!
Yell? (hint, she’s 10)
She plops on the sofa, covering her head with a blanket.
Child One: Daddy! I’m hungry!
Because 90 seconds is a long dang time.
Then the other child crawls out of her pre-teen soup:
Child Two: I hate you.
I am paraphrasing all of this, of course. Lots of words are said. But, these are the things I hear.
Me: Honey… You are here because of me…
(Also, Mommy. Largely Mommy. Me too, though: Please don’t think biology. Because, you know, oftentimes Dads get shorted.)
Hang on… Child One is chewing something.
Me: What are you eating?
Child One: Milk Duds.
Me: “Milk” chocolate is not milk. I’m a Good Father! (say the voices in my head.)
Child Two: Why does she get candy when I don’t?! That’s not fair!
Crap… 9:00 am
The day is young.