I introduced myself to someone last night. “Darren,” I said. He said, “Like from that Bewitched TV show. Ha!” For the record, my mother had a TV Guide and easily could have named me Mannix, Jethro, or (my favorite): Ironside.

(Also, Bewitched ‘Darrin’ spelled it wrong.) Don’t mock peoples’ names. It’s not their fault. Please Endora me:

[Editor’s note:  It has been pointed out that Mannix and Ironside premiered after my birth certificate was certified with the certain-to-be mocked “Darren” name.  These people are party-poopers.  My parents could have gone with Star Trek’s James Tiberius.  I’m just saying.  I hold no grudges, Mom.]