A New Religion

I’ve thought about forming a new religion. Nothing concrete, yet. But, I’m bouncing balls against the wall.  I’m sketching things in…

Things we should all believe in:

- Gravity, until someone falls on their face.

- Facts, until my argument is disproved.

- Gender Equality, until she earns more.

- Time, until I am late.

- Boobs.

- Peanuts, until someone has an allergy.

- Bacon.

- Temperature, not the Heat Index. Bullshit.

- Brazilians, not the wax, but the people. Also: yeah. Ok, the waxing.

- There is no ‘Up’ in space. Except for the DVD on the Space Station.

- I mentioned Boobs, right? And, Bacon. Yeah… Bacon. Also, boobs.

- Snuggling.

- Puppies. (Still considering kittens.)

- Earth is slightly more than 6,000 years old. By a few billion years.

- I am a dashing young man.

- Avoid the 405. (LA friends know what I mean.)

- Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.

- Trickle down economics doesn’t work in space. See above. Or on earth.

- Jumping Jack Flash… It’s not a Gas. No, not a Gas Gas. Hang on, no: It’s a Gas Gas… Gas.

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