Isabella (the five-year-old): Daddy, at school we’re not learning about the ocean this month.
Me: Really? What subject are you in now?
Iz: We’re in Sex.
Me: What? Excuse me? For a whole month? What kind of crazy, hippie free-love preschool are we sending you to? This is crazy!

Lynn (yelling from the kitchen): “Insects.” The word is “Insects.”

Me: Oh. That’s nice, Dear. Bugs.