She’s My Straight Man

Driving second-grader Julianna to school this morning, we take the scenic route. We go past the Los Angeles Zoo and through the Griffith Park golf course. The girls always love the golf course because we frequently see deer who have come down from the hills to feast on the back nine.

Julianna: Dang it. I don’t see the family of deers.

Me: Sorry, Honey.

J: Daddy, when Mommy takes us and we don’t see the family of deers, she always says something funny about where they are.

Me: Like… “They’re at Costco eating hot dogs?”

J: Yes, just like that. Well. But, they don’t have any money.

I immediately realize that Julianna has just set up the most amazing straight line EVER for my comic wizardry. It’s brilliant. And she didn’t even notice.

Me: I don’t know about that. They have a couple of bucks.

J: (Blink.)

Me: Oh, come on Sweety! That’s hysterical. Bucks. Couple of Bucks. I can’t even begin to tell you how funny that is! It’s hilarious.

From the back seat, silence.

Me: You see, Honey. Sometimes a boy deer is called a “buck.” And, sometimes a dollar is called a “buck.” So…,

J: Um, Daddy. Remember that time that you told me that if you had to explain the joke, then it wasn’t funny?

Me: Yeah…?

J: Guess what.

OH! SNAP!

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