It’s barely 7am, and already I have two little girls climbing on me as if my name were Jim. Jungle Jim.
Isabella (she’s 6): Hahaha! Wake up! Wake up!
Me: Ow! That hurts!
Julianna (8): Daddy, you’re a big baby!
Me: No. Ow. That hurts.
I don’t know where she gets the sarcasm…
Me: Why don’t you jump on Mommy like this?
J: Because, you’re mostly calmer than Mommy.
Me: I’m calmer? Are you not listening to me yell? OW!
Iz: Yeah… You’re calmer.
Me: But, you know this hurts me. My back. My tummy. My spleen.
J: It’s easier to hurt Daddy than Mommy. And, funner.
Iz: Yes… Easier.
Me: Easier? Funner? Because… Why?
J: Daddies have that area…
Iz: His butt?
J: No… The other side. (Wide-grinned smile.)
Iz: Oh! The other side. (Wide-grinned smile.)
Me: Could we not talk about this right now? Please, get off my back! And, please stop kicking my “other side!”
Did I mention, Ow? 7am. Good morning.