Battle Royale

So, yesterday’s battle royale continues in the car ride to school this morning. Crap.

(See my previous post…)

Isabella (she’s 6): Nooo! That’s my little pony!

Julianna (she’s 8): No! It’s my little pony!

Hitting and slapping and smacking occur at 65 miles an hour.

Remember, I’m still driving this Crazy Train. Through Burbank on the 134. 65 MPH. In traffic.

Me: GIRLS!!!! Please!!!!

Changing the tone…

Me: Oooo. Look at the snow on top of the mountains!

The Girls (like the Aliens from Toy Story): Oooooooo! Snow…

Thankfully, last night delivered an epic rain storm, which means snow for the nearby mountains. By LA standards, a “major rain event…” equals half an inch of rain. (Don’t laugh, east coasters… Big news here.)

Julianna, offers detente to her sister (Wow, a Soviet Cold War-era French term.): Isabella, Can’t we just be Sisters again?

How sweet!

Isabella (turning to Julianna) says:… Nyet.

My Russian is a little stale, but considering the ruckus blistering in the back seat, I’m guessing the Cold War is still on.

Me: Christ! Girls!!! Look for the deer.

We have finally gotten to the peaceful, Griffith Park golf course/deer-finding area.)

J: Oooo. Daddy! There’s a coyote!

Iz: Where? Where?

Sure enough, there’s a coyote sniffing around the 8th hole. The deer are long gone.

J: I saw it first!

Iz: No! I did!

Jesus Christ! We are 3 minutes from school, and we’re fighting over this?

J: We haven’t see a coyote in, like… a year!

Iz: We saw one at Thanksgiving! A month ago!

Me: Please! Here’s our exit!

Finally at school.

Me: Get out of the car! Get out! Get the Hell out!

Not really. (But you know what I’m sayin’)

Their next school will be in walking distance.

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