So, Julianna (she’s 9) and I are watching some Finding Bigfoot show on TV (hint: They never actually find one. Surprise.)

J: Well, Daddy, maybe it’s just a guy in a mask.

Me: Maybe.

J: And, he pretends to be a Bigfoot.

Me: Uh-huh.

J: And, he has big shoes like a clown to make the footprints.

Me: So, he’s a clown?

J: No. I’m saying “Like” a clown.

Me: Does he have a big red nose? “Like” a clown.

J: Daddy, stop that.

Me: Does he come out of a small car with his other Bigfoot friends?

J: No, Daddy. You’re confusing me.

Me: Does he have a make-up smile, or a make-up frown.

J: Daddy, I’m being real here. About Bigfoot.

Me: Really? You’re being real. About Bigfoot.

J: You know what a Yeti likes to eat?

Me: What, Sweetie?

J: Spa-Yeti.

Me: Ha ha. Can we watch football now?

J: No, they might find one.

Me: In the four years that this show has been on the air, they haven’t found one. And, we have to sit through 7 minutes of commercials to discover that, no, they didn’t find one.

J: Maybe this time they will.

Me: I give up. You win with your wide-eyed optimism. Football can wait. Let me know how this ends. I’m getting a beer.

J (from the other room…): No, they didn’t find one.

Me: Surprise.

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