Yesterday, the Los Angeles Department of Building and Safety (DBS) issued me a “Courtesy Notice” telling me that the awning over my carport was an “eye-sore” and ordered me to remove it because it was “in public view.” It, apparently, contributes to “Urban Blight.”
The DBS supports “the needs of business and commerce while protecting public safety and the visual environment.”
It supports Business. So, I guess it’s a Win for actual, normal citizens. Business and Commerce First!
Also, a “visual environment.”
My carport offends nobody. And, it is safe.
I call the phone number because, you’re kidding me. Seriously? I leave a message on the guy’s voice mail because his office hours are (no kidding) 7am to 10am.
So, the guy from the City returns my call at 6:55 this morning, because that’s a reasonable time to call people. Let me put my pants on.
“Canvas is not an approved material,” “Visible from the street,” “No one has complained.”
Our driveway is awesome. We’ve even had a party or two under that awning.
Two days ago, a birthday party! (Julianna turned 10! Yay!) No one mentioned the Urban Blight caused by my carport.
But, because I know this guy is just doing his job, and after telling him that this was insane…. There’s only one place this can go:
I said to the guy on the phone, very politely, “I guess I’ll see you in court.”
He replied (honestly): “I wish you good luck.”
(Which sounds better because he has an Indian accent. Namaste.)