Quantum Jesus

Snuggling up with Julianna (the 10-year-old) at bedtime, the discussion drifted towards Theoretical Physics, the Origin of Everything, and, obviously, Mario Brothers.

A typical Friday night. Not unlike yours, no doubt.

Julianna: Daddy, is Einstein the smartest person in the world.

Me: Well, he was. But he’s dead now. So, I guess that makes ME the smartest person in the world.

J: Daddy, you’re stupid… But, Einstein talked about the universe and things beyond the universe. Like, through black holes! (Her eyes light up.)

Me: Yes, he knew about black holes which have so much gravity that they suck in everything that gets near them.

J: Yeah, but when things gets sucked in, they end up in a completely different universe. A multi-verse!

Ok… Things are really starting to veer into an area that I am not qualified to discuss with adults, much less to put into terms that a 10-year-old can understand.

Dammit, there’s just too much science being taught in our schools! (Oh… Wait. No.)

Then Isabella comes to my defense:

Iz (she’s 8): Daddy, was Jesus a real person? Because my Jewish friends at school don’t talk about him or Easter.

Crap! A subject I am even less prepared to discuss at bedtime with an eight-year-old.

Me: Well, Honey, that’s a really complicated question. Lots of people think a lot of different things. You see, Jesus…

Then Julianna swoops in to save me:

J: So if Einstein was right, then that You Tube video makes sense where Bowser from the Mario Bros. travels through black holes to other Times and keeps kidnapping Princess Peach!

Me: Ummmm.

Iz: So, Jesus died on Good Friday. Why is that Good?

J: But, Mario and Luigi keep trying to save her! That’s hysterical.

Iz (after contemplation): Daddy, couldn’t Mario go through a black hole and save Jesus?

Maybe he could come back and save me from this conversation. (Read into the “he” as you wish.)

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