Julianna (she’s 11) is “sick” today. She has a headache. She didn’t sleep well. Her tummy hurts.
It’s all bullshit, of course. She just wants to ditch. School ends soon, and she’s finished with the State Tests.
(It will help if you read this part in a Downton Abby accent.)
Me: Ok, Darling, You are sick? You can stay home. No computah and no TV though. We don’t want to tax your mind.
J: Wait, you didn’t say that before. About the tax.
Me: Yes, Honey, No school. Sorry, no fun.
J: But, but… Fatha. My Minecrahft.
So, she reads a while from something called a boohk, then draws pictahs in her notebook ’til ’round noon.
She has broth, and I let her watch Scooby Doo.
Me: So, you were faking it. Being sick. Right? Charlatan!
J: No (smiling) Never, Fatha. I would nevah.
Me: Kidding, Child… I did the same thing when I was your age. Fakin’ it. Like those Meddlin’ Kids in Scooby Doo? Laughs galore.
J: Really? You faked being sick? Diseased. With Scarlet Fever? Or Consumption?
Me: Honey… Do you really want to end up like me? Without schooling? And, no Futah?
J: Absolutely not, Daddy… Nevah. Not like you! Evah!
Me: Then, tomorrow. School. Yes?
J: Of couse. When does the schooner to school arrive?
Just like real life.
Me: There is no schooner. You put you God Damned shoes on and get in the car.
And, that’s how I got Julianna back to school.
Isabella will be a whole ‘nother issue.
Thank you… The DDFT Players!
Tips welcome! (just not wise ass ones.)