The Invisible Baby

A typical car ride home:

After school, pulling up to a stoplight, I mention the guy on the bike with the empty baby seat behind him.

Me:  Oo.  Look at that invisible baby!

Julianna (she’s 11): What baby?  Where?

Me: On the bike, behind the guy.

Isabella (9): Daddy, there’s no baby there?

Me: Yes, there is. It’s invisible.

J:  Dad, there’s no baby there.

Iz: Yeah, the chair is empty.

Me: It’s an invisible baby.  (Scientifically wistful…) They are very rare.

J:  Wait.  You can see it?  An actual baby?

Me: Yes, definitely.

[emotions rise]

Iz:  How do you know there’s a baby there?!  I can’t see it!

J: Yeah, how?!  How can you see an invisible baby?!

[I pause]

Me: Because, I know what an invisible baby looks like.

Girls: Daaaaad!

And, this is why they hate me.

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