For those you who read this blog just to watch me squirm (and that’s pretty much all of you), then this is for you.

Thursday night. May 23. It’s Lynn’s (our resident Mommy) and my 21st wedding anniversary. Doves and flowers and rainbows and whatever. Did I mention we are in New York? (‘cuz Old York is so, yesteryear.)

Turns out, Mommy’s big Carnegie Hall debut rehearsal includes a late-night dinner at some swanky Manhattan restaurant. Who could say No? Mommy is having fun. I celebrate that! This is why she (and we) are here.

Meanwhile, back at camp, I snuggle up at sleepy time with Julianna (the eight-year-old).

Me: I’ve never slept with anybody but Mommy on our anniversary.

Immediately, I recognize my verbal error. I have got to fix it. Even though the 8-year-old will not grasp the significance. I enter this world fully prepared for the fallout. But, I have got to clarify…

Me: For the record, I’ve never slept with anyone besides your mother. On our anniversary, or ever.

As the words leave my mouth, I know there are going be questions. Again, I knew this going in.

J: Well, but… You sleep with Me and Isabella (she’s 6) all the time.

You see. This is why I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. On our anniversary. But I couldn’t. I like things literal. I can’t help myself.

Me: Yes, you’re right. But, when grown-ups say they are “sleeping together,” it doesn’t mean what it sounds like.

You see me squirming, right? Ha ha for you. Less for me.

J: Well, but…

More squirming…

Me: Sometimes, when grown-ups “sleep together” they don’t always actually sleep. They are awake and do things.

J: Like what, Daddy?

Crap. We’re going down a long road here.

Me: Well, sometimes, grown-ups stay up late and watch TV. Or, they read a book. Or, rub each others’ shoulders. Scrabble. Stuff like that.

J: But… Naked?

Oh, dear lord.

You are enjoying my squirming, aren’t you?