Dear Mr. Skechers,

You have a branding problem with your new “Daddy’$ Money” shoes aimed at young and teen girls. Because, I will never pay for some product called “Daddy’$ Money.” This is a “Daddy” blog, after all. And, I don’t like to be taken advantage of. Though, my daughters can usually get away with it. You cannot.

Daddy’$ Money shoes, by Skechers. “Daddy” Daddy or “Sugar” Daddy, I’m not sure.

You see, I’m really trying to raise my girls to be self-sufficient young women who don’t rely on someone else to buy them stuff. Because, I spend too much money on my daughters to spend a dime for something as commercially crass as a product called “Daddy’$ Money.” And, your slogan: “Get spoiled with Daddy’s money”? Bullshit.

And, while I’m sure the lovely young ladies on your website are fine, upstanding teens… You’re not selling cut-off short-shorts and mini skirts. You’re selling shoes. You realize this, right?

Certainly they’re lovely young ladies. But, where are the shoes? That’s what you’re selling!

So, please, Mr. Skechers. Re-direct your marketing campaign to some product much less innocuous. Like, Mommy’s Boy Loafers.

Now, we’re going to get some ice cream.