Some have commented that my last couple of posts have been in dubious taste (“patently offensive” and “disturbed individual” are phrases I have heard.)

So, I thought it was time for a palate cleanser:

It’s my first day off in what seems like forever.
At 6:47 Isabella climbed into bed, putting her knee in my stomach.
Then Julianna climbed into bed, cramming her knee in other sensitive areas.
Then the girls began fighting because one committed some grievous injustice against the other.
Then my iPhone alarm began ringing on the other side of the room.
Then the neighbor’s gardener decided to Weed Whack the yard 3 feet from my window.
Then the gardener’s partner began trimming the orange tree with a chain saw.
Then the garbage and recycling trucks rumbled through the neighborhood.
Then the fire trucks roared down the street toward the pile-up on the nearby freeway.
Then the ambulance followed suit.
Then the TV helicopter hovered overhead to get that perfect shot for the morning news.

Screw you, Universe. Today is MY day, and I am not getting up before 7 o’clock. I’ve got 2 more minutes, and I will NOT be denied.